today I'm going to start with everyone, then maybe later get more specific with my observations as I go along. Since there are so many things that bother me daily, I'm left with no shortage of ammunition.
It seems to be a generational thing...I don't know where it began, and I don't know when or if its going to end...I'm certainly hoping soon because I have to, eventually, pick a wife and some friends from this bunch, and I've gotta say, its looking worse and worse for me. In the 1940's we had seen the Hitler youth, and it was, by most peoples standards, disgusting. Now we are seeing the rise of the Hilton youth, which has only made me question which is worse. This whole plague that young women (18-27) seem to think its a good thing to slut around and act like cheap, brainless tanning bed barbies is beyond revolting to a guy like me. Of course there is no shortage of brainless, Ed Hardy-wearing UFC wannabe fist pumping douche bags to match said women, so I suppose it works well for the simple in our society. Sure, you may be thinking I'm just writing this because I'm bitter or I can't get these women...and that's to be expected considering I am, after all, writing a web blog. But the reality for me is far worse than not being able to, its not wanting to anymore. See when I first started actually dating I was in college, I certainly would have suited your assumed initial opinion of me (can't get women) in high school, as I struggled with weight and acne throughout in a most brutal way, to the point where I wouldn't even want to go to school because I was so ashamed of how I looked, and with such a superficial undertone in our society who wouldn't be?
But after much work and doctor intervention I would like to believe I cleaned up rather nicely in my more recent years. I finally have my self confidence that was ever lacking through my younger years, lost the weight and the acne, found a sense of style and definitely learned a few things about myself. There were a few people from the worst years of my life that were, no matter how I looked or acted, really good to me. These people I would give anything to have stayed in contact with, having learned the value of a good heart, but the world doesn't always work that way and I'll forever regret having lost contact with, as the loss is most certainly mine. Since that time I've noticed what a rarity people with common sense and a true heart have become.
When I first started dating, I went for the best looking girl I could land. Yeah, I know, typical.
In my defense though, I think on a subconscious level I wanted to get with those girls that wouldn't even look at me through high school just to satisfy the sore-point left by being the platonic guy friend that was a good guy, but too ugly to consider being seen in public with. That phase didn't last long because I met what would turn out to be my girlfriend for the next 5 years, Angelina. She was cool and we had a good time together, but she was never really my type in hindsight, as we had little in common mentally, but we still managed to have a good relationship for the first few years. As things progressed and we lived together, the good times were gradually eclipsed by never-ending arguments over petty insignificant bullshit that eventually eroded any feelings we had for each other, and every day we spent together thereafter was just going through the routine. Despite the unavoidable failure of this relationship, we both stayed and tried until there was nothing left to try for, and that's when I met who I thought would be the love of my life, Leigha. She worked for the same company I do, but across the continent, making things tough from the start. Regardless of the challenges, I was devoted to making the world a smaller place for this girl, and I use the term "girl" for a reason, as I later found out she was not the young woman I had imagined. While I was busy falling madly in love with her, going so far as to start securing the finances to accommodate her immigration to Canada, securing a job for her when she finished school, and planning a future with her (at her request), she was really just trying to appear as if she had matured beyond her infantile desires and was ready to have someone truly love her. The reality was I was just the flavor of the month, and she turned around and told me she has no feelings for me at all, and that she has commitment issues (that's a synonym for slut) and that she didn't want to pursue this relationship any further. This would have been a little more understandable if the night before she wasn't telling me how much she loves me and can't wait to spend our lives together, but alas, I figured she probably found someone closer to home, and I ceased to exist to her that instant because after laying this on me (over facebook...class act hey?) she never spoke much to me thereafter, even after having told her I love who she is as a person, and would like to have her as a part of my life one way or another, and when she did speak to me, it was more of a one word answer, an annoyed brush off to the point that my pride couldn't handle being spoken to with such disdain by someone I had such adoration for as I did her. She looked for a reason to hate me, because in her state of mind she was just sick of me, and she was looking for a reason to argue with me so she could never speak to me again, which broke my heart, but I gave her that reason. I said some things I wasn't proud of, but in my defense, I was stunned that any person had the heart to treat someone that cared for them every bit as much as they were led to believe they were cared for in return, with such bitterness. She never spoke to me again, and I suppose my life is the better for being rid of one more person with such a fake and infantile mindset, but in my heart of hearts I will always love and miss the Leigha I thought I knew.
These experiences have brought me through the whole emotional spectrum, and having walked away richer in knowledge I have to say, I'm glad they happened, as I now have an idea of what I'm looking for in a partner, and I'm much more guarded with who I associate with.
Now that you know a little about where I come from, it should be a little easier to understand where my opinion comes from, or at least gives you an idea of why I take more notice of how people are conducting themselves on a certain level.
I've always worn my heart on my sleeve, and I don't intend to change that because maybe, on some ignorant level, I choose to believe that people are still, as a whole, good in nature, but that notion gets harder to defend as I look at how people treat others.
Alright, now we have all that bullshit about me out of the way, lets move on to brighter subjects, like the moral and social degradation of our society in North America perhaps?
It seems like we've created a culture of MTV and Hollywood-fake people around here...and I'm left wondering what the hell happened to intellect and personality. With the women of the age group I mentioned above, it seems that the definition of current events has shifted from news and politics to TMZ and other brainless crap about celebrities. Now not to generalize too much, as the odd exception has come across and I have been pleasantly surprised when it happens, but for the most part it seems that this mindless entertainment has become a lifestyle to most of the women I meet. I Sure hope this isn't how we disprove the theory of evolution...but I see little evidence to the contrary.
When did it become a good thing for a woman to be a tramp?
I hate sluts.
It's my biggest fear to meet someone, and see something genuine in them that makes me re-think all my aforementioned observations, and find out she's a complete skag.
Before you go and say that men do it all the time and it's met with praise and looked at as acceptable, I have mentioned the Ed Hardy wearing douchebags already and that is the category that those guys fall in to, whether they fancy themselves as such or not. Maybe I've just gotten to a point that these things seem disgusting to me, because when I was younger, my friends would always talk about girls they hogroasted over the weekend and it didn't bother me like it does now, but I can say in all honesty that it makes me just as angry as it does when you hear a woman say she jumped on this-many dicks last weekend, because it IS disgusting and cheap no matter what defense if any you have for it.
I've heard both women and men talk about how they've cheated on their spouse in a manner that almost indicates pride or happiness. Makes me sick really, because it just makes me think that nothing is sacred anymore. Have people completely lost their morals? or their ability to put themselves in the other persons shoes and see how it would feel to have done to them some of the things they do to others?
In my opinion there is nothing worse, no torture that equals what you can do to someones heart. The direction we are going in society when we look at the big picture is an awfully scary one, since it is void of any moral compass and equally lacking in class.
It's going to be interesting people...take notice...these are our future politicians, wives, fathers...it goes on. Piece by piece some sort of enlightenment has to happen, whether someone gets their heart broken and understand what such conduct can do to a person, or we just have a simple revolution of morality on a global scale. Well, I'm doing my part by typing this blog and breaking the silence that has ever tormented me throughout watching this dissipation
of all that separates humans from beasts, and I hope that should anyone by chance ever read this, it may just prompt them to take a moment away from the self-absorbed lifestyle that has become all too common, and think about the other person for a second, no matter the situation, and understand that we're perpetuating the downfall of morality in this world.Probably not...but a guy can dream can't he? ...sure hope he can...because reality is well on the way to becoming my nightmare.
